The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I'm weary of it.

The computer calls me but I want to slap it. Load you piece of shit. Working with this level of delay is like writing a letter in hyroglyphics. The interactions seemed strained and insanely drawn out. I am at the mercy of servers and bandwidth.

What I really need is likely a drink...or few.

I'm thinking if there were to be some dramatic battle on VR the lines would be drawn thusly.



First we have our 'real vampires'. These folks are usually a little too serious but can sport some pretty interesting conversation and philosophy on metaphysics and energy



Then we got our RPG'ers. Now I used to be a big RPG geek so I got nothing against these folks...so long as you know when it's not a game we're cool



Next we've got the Wiccans and related witches and pagans. You guys are really too nice. You need to be offended more. I mean that in the nicest way.



Finally, we have those left over. These folks tend to be the most sarcastic sons of bitches here and are usually also the funniest. Most have been here a while and just like to have a laugh at the whole thing.



Everyone kinda falls under 'goth' but you can all still be sub-divided so get used to it.



Now I know I'm a bit of a geek for even thinking of the battle but here's my reasoning...see the Sarcastic bastards are pissing off the real vampires because let's face it...if you're going to make a sarcastic joke about someone...it's probably going to be someone who thinks the Codex is actually good reading.



Now the real vampires start the war to silence the infidels...if a war was gonna start...these guys (the real vamps) are the closest to the crusaders...all heart and anger.



So now it's just a matter of dividing up the remaining sides to determine who they fight with...



Let's see the RPG'ers I'm gonna say would likely team up with the real vampires...not because they actually agree with them or because they have anything against the sarcastic side...they'd just think it was role play...it's tough to seperate the two sometimes.



The Wiccan's and pagans would try to remain neutral (you guys are really nice) but sooner or later, the sarcastic folks are gonna piss them off too. There's a level of seriousness there that implies "we're neutral but we're here to maintain the balance...a balance that your sarcastic comments are throwing off." So now they're in with the real vampires as well.



Who's gonna win? I'm still thinking in this 3 to 1 battle, it's gonna be the sarcastic sons of bitches...cause while the rest are 'casting spells, draining energy, and rolling dice" the sarcastic sons of bitches are just gonna haul off and hit someone.



No one reads this so it's really for my own amusement...

I don't know which side I am...

You'll probably tell me what I can do with myself if you do read this...

I know I tend to be manic and go through periods of disinterest and as a friend so recently put it: "ennui".



Of course that means the pendulum swings both ways. Lately, it would seem that it's spinning more than swinging. I'll explain because that metaphor could be getting a little strange. You see, rather than swinging back and forth between moods, of late it's been a mix of moods all at once. I feel strong and capable, but without my outlet, it's a little disconcerting and maybe a bit depressing. And yet, there is the feeling that something more is happening and that maybe this time, it's going to be something strange and wonderful.



I keep waiting for an 'earth shattering event' to shake me from this dream. Perhaps it's time to break the glass myself. We grow so acustomed to our prisons that we often forget we're in one. I keep getting little glimpses of life outside the prison walls followed by recognition of the bars that surround me. I made them...of that there is no question. I could easily tear my world apart and start over...but that may be a bit too extreme. I really just want a door...but I'm not sure one can have a door. Sometimes you just need to break it all down to get out.

I had a strange experience recently. I'm walking up to a restaurant when suddenly I feel separated from reality. I'm not talking about "wild hallucinatory" separation but very subtle "just not right" separation. The feeling was similar to walking on a movie set. Everything looked a little too crisp and clean. Even the sound of the gravel as I approached the entrance was like styrofoam. I enter the restaurant and it's back to normal before I've had time to really think about it.



It reminded me of something that happens to me more regularly (maybe once a year) but as a separation from normal time. The only way I can describe it is that quite suddenly, the world is moving at double speed or maybe one and half speed. Everything I hear sounds very loud and urgent (even music I am familiar with sounds faster or more pressing). My own movements seem to be more urgent and faster. This isn't as if the world is really on fast forward but more like everyone is doing everything with more speed and urgency. I'll walk to a couch or bed but it feels like I'm near running. It requires thought and intention to physically force myself to SLOW DOWN. Then in just the space of a couple minutes...zap...everything slows down like the world just caught it's breath.